"The average human has about one breast and one testicle."
"There are two popes per square kilometer in Vatican."
"Most people have more than the average number of legs."
"Chance is the pseudonym God uses when He'd rather not sign His own name."
"Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions."
"The probability of the bread falling buttered side down is directly proportional to the price of the carpet."
"97.25% of statistics are wrong."
"If you place a statistician's head in ice and his feet in boiling water, then on the average he is quite comfortable (but his comfort has a large variance)."
"Surveys are lies compounded by statistics."
"96.37% of the people who use statistics in arguments make them up."
"Medical statistics are a little bit like a bikini: what they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital."


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